


The Weight of Secrets

by MyKeyboardDidIt



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Usage, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Identity Reveal, Post-Defeat of Hawkmoth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyKeyboardDidIt/pseuds/MyKeyboardDidIt
Summary: The former "Akuma Class" has reunited in the aftermath of Hawkmoth's defeat for a party! So why doesn't Adrien feel like celebrating? It may just take a drunk Marinette to find out.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 13
Kudos: 174
Collections: September 2020 - Fulfill A Prompt





	The Weight of Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InkyCoffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkyCoffee/gifts), [scribblyfangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblyfangirl/gifts).



> Here's the original prompt from InkyCoffee that I made my own for this work:
> 
> Marinette found him on the roof, the noise of Nino's party echoing up the open door to the stairwell. He was hunched over, staring across the rooftops, brooding. She slid down to sit next to him, not saying a word. He reeked of alcohol, but so did she, probably.
> 
> Eventually he spoke, his words slurring a little. "Ever feel like the secrets are eating away at you? Like you'll burst if you don't tell someone, but telling anyone feels like a betrayal?"
> 
> She tried not to think about being responsible for taking down Hawkmoth, Adrien's father. She tried even harder not to think about her Kitty, who she hadn't seen since that final battle and who she missed like a limb. "All the time."
> 
> They sat in silence for a little longer. 
> 
> "There's no one here but you and me, Adrien. I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

Paris was shining unlike it had in a very long time that night. Nino’s new apartment was one of several beacons in the darkness, with a rousing party going on inside. The music was loud, the drinks were flowing, and everyone was planning to sleep here tonight. The “akuma class,” as they had been called in high school, felt like celebrating something besides their impending graduation from university. Kim and Alix were dancing on top of a table, doing shots next to each other while Nino’s newest mix was blaring around them. Even Chloe, who was usually too good to spend time with her classmates outside of school, was cuddling Sabrina in a corner as the result of being just a touch too drunk. 

Adrien was really trying to enjoy himself, but the vibe of the party just didn’t suit him. He was sipping something fruity in an attempt to dull his emotions, but it wasn’t working at all. He was wasted, absolutely, but he still felt the pain just as much as when he was stone cold sober. The emotions around what had happened yesterday was crowding around him, making him feel so small and defenseless even as he was surrounded by his laughing friends. Nino had found him at some point while he was spiraling, Alya watching from a comfortable distance. 

“Hey, dude!” He yelled over his tunes. “Let’s go talk outside, okay?” Adrien had just nodded. Alya’s brow had furrowed as she watched the two of them walk out.

“Are you alright, man? I know it must be difficult for you.” His hand was immediately on Adrien’s shoulder as they looked out over Paris. They sat there in silence for a moment, Nino not wanting to smother Adrien’s feelings with questions.

“No,” he said at last. 

“What?” Nino had replied, in surprise.

“No, I’m not alright. It hurts. He was never there for me, I know that.” Adrien’s words were rehearsed, things he had allowed himself to figure out in therapy sessions with his friends. “I only get now how much he was using me, even if he thought bringing my mother back was the best thing for me.” Nino frowned in the glow of the lights, listening.

Adrien was conveniently leaving out some important parts of what was making him feel so horrible. It had been devastating to lose his other parent, as absent as he had been, but there was more to it than that. Finding out his dad was Hawkmoth would have been difficult enough if not for the ring on his finger, which felt a lot more heavy tonight. It would have been difficult enough if he had not had to spend so many restless nights, so many ruined school days, fighting to stop _his dad_ from terrorizing all of Paris all just to bring back his mom. The amount of his own guilt wrapped up in all of this was difficult for him to explain, even if he didn’t have to keep his identity from his friends.

It had all been too much for him in the moment. He remembered the feeling of tears burning his eyes and blurring his vision as he fought for his life against Hawkmoth, against his own father. Hawkmoth’s cane clashed against his staff over and over again in his mind, as Ladybug’s voice barely grounded him to reality. So much of the memory was already refusing to come back up, but this feeling of pain was as real as if he was actually there. That moment washed over him, over and over.

As Gabriel Agreste - Hawkmoth - had been shoved into a cop car, stripped of his miraculous, Chat was already leaving.

“Chat! Where are you - ?” That was all he had heard from Ladybug before he had bounded off of the nearest light pole, shooting between buildings as all of Paris discovered the nightmare was over. Would he ever get to talk to his father again? Would he even want to? These questions refused to leave him as the butterflies of his Lady washed over the city.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” He had heard her cry as if she had stood right next to him. He felt a chill run down his spine, and present as goosebumps on his skin. He bounded to the nearest rooftop and looked out to the road. The police car that held his father was still rolling down the road, its lights and sirens breaking the peace of the setting sun. Adrien didn’t feel himself fall to his knees, didn’t hear himself say the words to detransform. The next thing he felt was the embrace of Plagg against his shoulder, and the tears he no longer fought falling down his face.

Adrien finished his confession to Nino with a long drink, punctuating how “not okay” he was. Nino’s frown seemed frozen on his face, the boy’s expression just slightly hiding under his favorite cap. Adrien lost reality for a moment while reliving the sharp pain of these memories, only coming back with a gasp as he felt Nino hugging him. After a second, Adrien brought his arms around his friend and gripped him tightly. He sniffled, feeling the waterworks starting again. He cursed himself internally, so sick of crying about this already. He cleared his throat harshly, trying to push down the feeling.

“Thank you, Nino.” He said as he met his friend’s eyes for the first time since they’d started talking. Adrien forced a smile back on his face, something he was all too good at doing. 

“I’ll be okay, I promise. You should go enjoy yourself. Your public is waiting.” He said with a stifled laugh. Nino pulled away, his face betraying a lack of belief. 

“If you’re sure, dude. I hope you’ll feel like coming back in too. Let me know if me or Alya can do anything to help you, okay?” 

Adrien nodded, and Nino’s face took on a genuine smirk. “Okay.” Nino said, leaving Adrien alone to his thoughts.

As Nino walked back through the party, Adrien noticed how deafening the sound was in there. He could hear nothing over the music and the party it played over. He felt very alone out here. He wasn’t sure if he wanted that or not.

His mind had been thinking of Ladybug, and how unfair it was of him to leave her there confused, when he heard a familiar voice behind him. 

“Adrien?” Marinette had called his name as she came into earshot, her walking a little more unbalanced than usual. He snapped his neck back to her, having once more lost track of time and himself.

“Oh, hi Marinette.” He said, the alcohol reeking off of his breath. 

“How much have you had?” She said much more soberly, looking him up and down with concern. 

“Too much,” he said with a genuine laugh. Genuine, but bitter. “Did Alya send you to check on me?” He asked genuinely, but sounding more accusatory. 

Marinette’s face crinkled into a sad smile. “She’s always been the mom friend. I wanted to see you myself, though.” He seemed surprised by that, and let her go on without interjecting. 

“You ever feel like the secrets are eating away at you?” Her face turned down, a facade coming down before Adrien’s eyes. His mouth hung open, understanding all over his face. He had never seen Marinette like this, and he suddenly wondered about a lot of times they had been together. 

“Yes!” he said with urgency. “God, yes. I feel like I’m going to explode, to collapse under the weight of it. I…” He grit his teeth as the rest tried to stay inside him, afraid to come out. 

“It’s killing me.” He had said matter of factly. He looked over to Marinette, and she had said the same. They looked at each other with an ocean of emotions flowing between them. 

“It feels like...I’m betraying all that I am if I let them out,” Adrien continued. Marinette nodded. “But after this, I can’t go on like I have been.”

Maybe the alcohol had made her bolder, he didn’t know. She wasn’t stuttering around him like she usually was, after all. Whether it had or not, though, he was still surprised when he felt her hand on his. They looked out over Paris like that together for a moment before she spoke again.

“We’re the only two people out here, Adrien.” She said, looking around to confirm. “Can I take something off of your heart? You can trust me to keep it in confidence, no matter what it is.” 

He seemed to think about it for a moment, his eyes never moving from the view. 

“Only if I can do the same for you, Marinette.” He replied at last. She looked a little conflicted, but she nodded with a smile forming back on her face. 

Even so, no one said anything for a moment after that. This awkward silence held between them, both scared and gathering the courage to speak.

“Do you want to go first?” Marinette said at last, hoping he did.

He chuckled, once more with genuine laughter. “Okay.”

He looked over at her. She noticed as she looked into his beautiful green eyes that he hadn’t let go of her hand.

“Hawkmoth wasn’t just my father,” That was how he decided to start. She seemed surprised by that. Maybe she just expected him to talk about his father, or how he was treated by him, or even his mother.

“I hate what father did to my friends. Part of why is because, well...because I spent so much of my own time stopping him from destroying Paris.” She still looked confused. 

“Ugh!” He yelled out into the street in frustration. “I really want this to be easy. Like I could just drunkenly confess to something like in the movies, and regret it tomorrow. Why is this so hard?” He saw how Marinette felt for him by the way her face focused on him. 

He took his hand back from Marinette, showing her his ring. “This is a miraculous. I wear it with me everywhere I go. Because I’m Chat Noir.” Marinette immediately reacted, her mouth held open silently as she stared at his hand. 

“W-what?” She sputtered, touching the silver ring with a complete lack of belief that it was real. Suddenly, she was convinced that the ring must not exist at all. She touched it over and over, making sure it was still there.

“Yeah, so…” He continued, physically standing a little straighter as a weight came off his mind. “I was one of Hawkmoth’s mortal enemies. He made things so difficult for me, for my friends, for Ladybug…” he trailed off as the tears forced themselves into his eyes again. “Dammit, Ladybug I’m sorry.” He said to no one, his eyes looking away from Marinette.

“It’s okay, Chaton.” Someone said. It was Ladybug, he knew immediately. He opened his eyes, the tears in them falling out. 

“What?” He said in confusion. The only person he saw there was Marinette. Marinette put her hand on his left shoulder, and made him look her in the eyes. Hers were just as red, just as full of new tears.

“I said it’s okay, Adrien. I forgive you.” Her voice warbled, struggling not to devolve into sobs. 

He looked at her, at her earrings. She’d worn the same earrings since she was 14. A look of knowing fell over his face, fighting against one of absolute shock. They studied each other’s faces, as if watching a puzzle put itself together.

Adrien practically crushed her in a hug, lifting her off the ground an inch or two as the tears flowed out of his eyes. 

“Oh, my Lady! I’m so sorry! I just...I…” He couldn’t get out another word as he just wanted to be as close to her as possible.

Marinette made a muffled noise as she adjusted to the hug and convinced him to let her go a little. 

“I just had no idea, Chat. Please, let’s get through this together.” She wiped at his tears over and over, kissing his cheek finally when he seemed to calm down. He pulled away just a little, keeping his arms around her hips. As their eyes met once more, they both leaned in again and met lips in the glow of the party lights. Adrien could swear he felt fireworks exploding around them. For just a moment, it felt like everything would be okay. All his fears evaporated as the love of Marinette - of Ladybug - wrapped around him. 

When the kiss finally broke, they both had a smile of peace on their faces. He giggled a little at how awestruck Marinette looked. He probably looked the same way to her.

“Chaton, would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?” Marinette said in her best Chat Noir impression. “I mean, I won’t _bug_ you if you don’t want to…”

Adrien laughed loudly at that, his wet eyes still looking at Marinette in disbelief. 

“It would be my pleasure, my Lady.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the September 2020 "Fulfill a Prompt" Challenge on the Miraculous Fanworks server! Follow this link to join the server if you want to talk fanfiction or hone your craft with others!
> 
> https://discord.gg/wcQvjyg
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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